We scan your page and tell you, plainly, what's making people leave. Free to find out. The basic fix is cheaper than the overpriced latte you'll forget you bought. Legacy tools flag broken links. CipherSEO audits the semantic syntax controlling conversions and LLM indexation. Cognitive load, entity density, vector proximity — against live competitor matrices, in under 60 seconds.
The scan is always free. The fix report is $9.
No account — unless you want us watching your site. No 30-minute demo call. No "our team will be in touch."
Founder with no time, no team, and no budget to fix your SEO? You're exactly who we built this for.
A real scan of a DTC apparel brand, anonymized. Yours comes back in this exact format — with your numbers, your roast. Production scan. Live SERP + DOM + PageSpeed pipeline. No synthetic inputs.
Nearly half your visitors bounce before they figure out what you sell — basics, luxury, or limited drops? They can't tell, so they leave.Modeled conversion likelihood sits above median, but the drop-off cohort correlates with above-the-fold message latency.
Direct and lethal — no "innovative", no "seamless", no buzzword sludge. This is exactly how copy should read.Filler-phrase ratio sits at the floor. Minimal lexical noise; entity signal is clean and undiluted.
Academic friction. Lifestyle poetry like "soul of the ocean" buries the actual product — nobody should have to decode a homepage.Flesch-Kincaid syntactic load runs above the sub-3-second comprehension threshold. Sentence complexity is taxing parse time.
Premium pricing with no fiber specs, no GSM, no reason to believe. Visitors can't tell why it costs what it costs — so they don't buy.Primary value proposition fails to resolve. Weak message-to-intent alignment against the target query.
ChatGPT only half-gets the page. Passive voice and vague sustainability jargon make it harder for AI to surface you when buyers ask.Generative-engine legibility sits mid-band. Passive constructions and weak entity structure limit retrieval in LLM answers.
Looks too good to be true? Fair. Run one scan — you'll know it's real in 60 seconds.
Eight engines. One $9 payment. No subscription required. Full-stack semantic, technical, and competitive output. Single-transaction.
The sentences that sounded great when you wrote them at midnight? Rewritten. Our AI has processed more underperforming landing pages than any consultant you could hire, and it doesn't sugarcoat. Production-ready rewritten copy engineered to minimize reading friction and cognitive load across your conversion-critical page layer. Processed by Claude Sonnet — not Haiku.
Three versions of your hero, three different angles. Run all three. Keep the one that converts. Or just pick the one that sounds most like you — we'll have opinions either way. Multi-variant SERP-contextualized hero rewrites optimized against distinct intent clusters extracted from live competitor data.
The title and description Google shows before anyone clicks — the first impression almost no founder ever optimizes, and the one thing that decides whether you get the click at all. We write it to win the click and hand you the exact text to paste. Optimized title tag (60 char) and meta description (155 char) generated against live SERP context. Plain-English explanation of why the existing preview is losing clicks.
We look at the sites ranking above you and map exactly what they're doing that you're not. The words they use, the structure they follow, the topics they cover. It's occasionally humbling. It's always useful. Real-time entity gap analysis against your top SERP competitor — auto-detected or manually specified. Copy delta, structural advantage breakdown, and missing topical coverage gaps.
Your site's numbers next to your competitor's. Every metric, side by side. One of you is clearly winning this. Now you'll know which one it is. Dual-URL comparative audit across fluff density, PageSpeed, semantic clarity, and LLM crawlability.
Your page title, headings, image descriptions, and meta tags — the things no visitor ever reads and Google reads constantly. Corrected, written, and ready to paste. Canonical validation, H1/H2 schema mapping, alt-text coverage, meta-description CTR optimization.
A shareable link to your full report — no watermark, available for 90 days. Send it to your developer, your designer, or your next agency when they claim to already know what's wrong. Permanent scan URLs for client-facing delivery. Unbranded PDF export formatted for agency presentation decks.
Not a report to read — a checklist to do. Your top five fixes, ranked by impact, each with the exact change and how long it takes. Start at the top, work down, close the tab. Impact-to-effort ranked remediation list. The five highest-leverage changes across copy, technical, and SERP layers — each with the specific edit and estimated implementation time.
Stop refreshing your competitor's site at midnight wondering what they're doing differently. Drop both URLs and we'll show you exactly where the gap is. Input two URLs. Real-time comparative audit across semantic density, cognitive load, fluff distribution, and LLM crawlability. Full scoring delta across every conversion and ranking factor.
Everything else on this market was designed for teams with a dedicated SEO manager and a six-figure budget. You don't have either of those things. Standard platforms are keyword databases with no copy output and no conversion-layer analysis.
No black box. No magic. A very fast engine doing three things in sequence. Parallel multi-source ingestion → analytical vectoring → structured payload compilation.
Paste a URL. Three things fire at once — in parallel, not in sequence. Three ingestion pipelines fire concurrently the moment a URL is submitted.
Under 30 seconds later we have your copy, your competition, and your performance baseline — before scoring even starts. Most SEO audits stop at your own page; we build the comparison first, so the verdict tells you where you stand against whoever's beating you. PageSpeed never blocks the AI layer. The comparison set is built before scoring begins, so every verdict is relative to live competitors — not an absolute score in a vacuum.
Your copy runs through five scoring layers — three by math, two by AI. Five metrics: three deterministic, two model-scored via Claude Haiku.
The engine reads your actual words — not a template assumption about your industry. Works on SaaS pages, ecommerce product pages, DTC brand sites, AI tools, marketplaces, and agency landing pages. If it's public and conversion-focused, it can roast it. Works across every vertical — SaaS, ecommerce, AI tools, DTC, micro SaaS. The AI identifies your industry automatically and frames the rewrite suggestions in the language of your market, not generic SEO advice.
Pay once — the basic fix costs less than a coffee. Claude Sonnet runs eight outputs. Single one-time transaction. Eight structured outputs via Claude Sonnet.
Every output is plain-English and ready to paste. It all lands in a shareable report URL (no watermark, 90 days) — plus three re-scans. Make the changes, run it again, watch the scores move. Fix, verify, fix again — that loop is the whole point. Sonnet, not Haiku — a materially more capable model than the free scan. White-label report URL (90 days), three re-scans, Tailwind DOM component export. Fix → verify → re-scan loop.
A landing page audit is a photograph. Your competitors keep editing their pages, Google keeps changing its mind, and AI assistants keep answering questions about your category without you. These plans watch all of it so you don't have to. Single-scan output is a point-in-time snapshot. Competitor pages mutate, SERP composition shifts, and generative engines index your category continuously. The ongoing tiers maintain state across all three.
Someone types "best tool for X" into ChatGPT instead of Google, gets three recommendations, and picks one. If you're not in that answer, you never even knew the search happened — there's no traffic to look at, no bounce rate, no clue. It's a growing slice of how people find things and almost nobody is measuring it. Generative engines synthesize answers rather than returning ranked links. Zero-click resolution means non-inclusion is invisible in conventional analytics — no impression, no session, no signal.
We run the questions your buyers would actually ask, across the assistants they actually use, and show you where you come up and where you don't. Then we tell you what's on the pages of the businesses that are getting recommended — because being cited by an AI is a solvable structural problem, not luck. Query panel executed across major LLM surfaces with citation-presence scoring. Structural remediation derived from cited-competitor markup, entity density, and answer-shaped content patterns. This is the AI search optimization layer neither Ahrefs nor Semrush surfaces.
The Monitor · The TrackerYour closest competitor quietly added an FAQ section, three testimonials and a pricing calculator last month. You'd find out never. We re-read their page every week, tell you exactly what changed, and hand you the specific thing to do about it — not "they updated their site," but "add a FAQ answering these three questions, here's a draft." Snapshot-and-diff across the top 3 SERP competitors on a weekly cadence. Detects new sections, copy revisions, structural additions and keyword shifts, then routes the delta through a remediation prompt that outputs specific counter-moves rather than a changelog.
The TrackerNot "here's your keyword's search volume" — that's a stat. This is the list of searches sending real buyers to your competitors while you're invisible for them, with the volume and what advertisers pay per click, so you can tell the difference between a nice-to-have and a page you should have written last quarter. Domain intersection against tracked competitors, returning ranked keywords held by them and absent from your profile, with volume and CPC attached for prioritisation by commercial intent rather than raw volume.
The Monitor · The TrackerPeople describe their problems on Reddit in words no keyword tool will ever show you, and they're blunt about which tools annoy them. We read those threads so your content answers questions people are genuinely asking — and so you know exactly what people complain about when they talk about your competitors. Subreddit-scoped extraction of high-signal threads by category, surfacing unstructured demand language absent from keyword databases, plus competitor sentiment as positioning input.
The Monitor · The TrackerConnect Search Console and we stop estimating. Real impressions, real clicks, real positions — your own data, pulled in and explained in plain English. Plus your rankings tracked weekly, so when something moves you can see it happen rather than discovering it a quarter later. OAuth-connected GSC pull for first-party impression, click, CTR and position data, alongside independent weekly rank tracking. Removes reliance on third-party volume estimation.
The Monitor · The TrackerPages don't die suddenly — they slide for months while nobody's looking. We flag a page that used to bring you traffic the moment it starts slipping, and track who's linking to you, who stopped, and what links your competitors picked up that you didn't. Trajectory analysis over accumulated rank history flags negative-slope pages before absolute position loss is obvious. Backlink API delta on new/lost referring domains, run against both your profile and tracked competitors.
The TrackerSame as the $9 scan: no black box, no magic. Three phases, and after the first one you don't do anything. Baseline capture, then continuous delta detection, then remediation output. Zero operator input after initialisation.
Day one, we build the picture everything else gets measured against. Full-depth capture establishing the reference state for all subsequent deltas.
Nothing useful can be said about movement until there's something to move from. The first run is the deepest one you'll get — every week after that is measured against it. Delta detection is meaningless without a reference state. Initialisation is the heaviest run in the cycle; subsequent passes diff against it rather than recomputing from scratch.
Then it just runs. Monthly on The Monitor, weekly on The Tracker. Scheduled re-execution. Monthly cadence on The Monitor, weekly on The Tracker.
This is the part nobody actually does. Not because it's hard — because it's boring and relentless. A competitor changes their pricing page on a Tuesday and you find out next quarter, if ever. The failure mode this addresses isn't capability, it's cadence. Manual competitive monitoring degrades within weeks; scheduled execution doesn't.
When something moves, you hear about it — with the fix already attached. Deltas routed through the remediation layer and emitted as actions, not events.
Not a changelog. Not a dashboard you have to remember to open. A short email saying what happened and what to do — and the dashboard's there for when you want to dig into the history. Push-first delivery. Weekly digest carries the actionable delta; the dashboard holds accumulated history for trend analysis rather than serving as the primary surface.
None of this is required. The $9 report is still the whole product for most people — these plans exist for pages you're actively spending money to send traffic to. Ongoing tiers are strictly optional. The single-scan $9 payload remains the primary deliverable — continuous monitoring is warranted only for pages under active acquisition spend.
Honest answers. No FAQ filler. Covering scan methodology, payload scope, and integration.
The core scan — five copy scores, a written verdict, live competitor SERP data, and desktop plus mobile page speed — is completely free. No account, no credit card, no trial that auto-upgrades. You paste your URL and get results in under 60 seconds. The $9 one-time payment unlocks eight fix engines: AI-rewritten copy, A/B hero variants, a Google search preview fix (exact title and meta description ready to paste), a competitor shadow report, a 30-minute fix list, a head-to-head versus dashboard, technical SEO corrections, and a permanent shareable report URL. Three re-scans are included so you can verify your fixes actually moved the scores.
That's what the AI Legibility score in the free scan measures — whether your page is structured so an AI assistant can read it, understand what you sell, and cite you when someone asks. This is the discipline now called Generative Engine Optimization, or GEO: the same idea as SEO, but for answer engines like ChatGPT, Perplexity, Gemini and Google's AI Overviews instead of a list of blue links. It matters because a zero-click AI answer leaves no trace in your analytics — if you're not in the answer, there's no impression and no visit to tell you the search ever happened. The free scan scores your page's readiness. The ongoing plans go further and actually run the questions your buyers would ask across those assistants, then show you where you appear, where you don't, and what the businesses being recommended have on their pages that you don't.
No. The free scan needs no account and the $9 report is a single payment with no auto-renew — that's the whole product for most people, and it always will be. There are optional monthly plans for people who want their whole site watched over time rather than one page audited once: The Monitor at $49/month re-audits your full site monthly, and The Tracker at $99/month does it weekly and tells you when your competitors change something. Both are choices you make after you've already seen what the tool does. You will never be asked to subscribe before you've had a result.
CipherSEO checks five core dimensions: the percentage of your copy that is generic filler (Corporate Fluff), how hard your page is to read without getting lost (Cognitive Load), how clearly your page communicates what you do and for whom (Message Clarity), how your page speed compares to your competitors (Survival Rate), and how likely AI assistants like ChatGPT and Perplexity can read and understand your page (AI Legibility). The paid report also checks your title tags, H1, meta description, image alt-text, and canonical tags.
Ahrefs and Semrush are powerful tools built for full-time SEO professionals managing large sites and complex campaigns. They start at $100–$400 per month and you have to commit to that before you've seen anything useful. CipherSEO starts at $9, once — you find out whether it's worth anything to you before you spend more than the price of a coffee. Rather than showing you a database of keywords and backlink graphs, CipherSEO reads your actual copy, scores it, rewrites what's failing, and hands you the fixed version in a format you can act on today. If you later want ongoing monitoring, that exists as an optional monthly plan — but you'll never be asked to subscribe to find out if the tool works.
The free scan typically completes in 30 to 60 seconds. The paid fix report — which runs competitor analysis, generates copy rewrites, builds A/B variants, and compiles the versus dashboard — takes approximately 2 to 3 minutes to process. You will see live progress as each engine node completes. We know waiting is irritating, which is why we show you what the engine is doing in real time rather than a generic spinner.
Not for the part most people use. The free scan needs no account and no email address. The $9 report asks for an email at checkout so we can send you the report link — that's the only thing we collect. No password, no onboarding flow, no welcome sequence.
The monthly plans need one, and there's no way around it. The Monitor and The Tracker watch your site over weeks and months — your rankings over time, every audit you've run, what your competitors changed and when. That history has to live somewhere, and somewhere means an account. Anyone selling you ongoing monitoring without one is either not storing anything or not telling you where it's going.
If you never want that, you never need one. The $9 report isn't going anywhere and it'll keep working exactly the way it does today.
The $9 one-time report includes: AI-rewritten copy for your failing sections (processed by Claude Sonnet, not the free tier model); two to three A/B hero section variants built from live SERP data; a Google search preview fix — the exact optimized title tag and meta description to paste straight into your CMS; a competitor shadow report showing what your top competitors cover that you don't, plus a side-by-side fluff index and friction score comparison; a head-to-head versus dashboard comparing every metric against a competitor you specify; a 30-minute fix list ranking your top five changes by impact, each with the exact edit; technical SEO corrections covering H1, canonicals, alt-text, and OG tags; production-ready code blocks with your new copy formatted to drop straight into your site; 3 re-scans so you can verify your fixes actually moved the scores; and a shareable report URL with no watermark (available for 90 days). That's the entire report — nothing is held back, nothing expires, and no part of it is locked behind a bigger plan. The monthly plans are on the pricing page if you ever want your whole site watched over time, but your report doesn't depend on them and we won't chase you about it.
Yes — SaaS, ecommerce, AI tools, DTC brands, micro SaaS, marketplaces, agency sites, and any conversion-focused landing page. The AI reads your actual words and identifies your industry automatically, so the roast and rewrite suggestions are framed for your market — not generic advice that could apply to anything. The only pages we cannot scan are those behind a login or on a private network.
For a page you are actively sending paid traffic to, audit after any major copy change, before and after a paid campaign launch, and whenever you notice a significant drop in conversion rate or search ranking. The audit captures a real-time snapshot against your current live SERP competitors — so results will shift as those competitors update their own pages. Monthly is reasonable for a high-traffic landing page. Quarterly is sufficient if traffic is low or the page is relatively stable. The $9 is per scan — run it whenever something changes.
One payment. The basic fix, in full. No subscription needed to get it. Single-transaction payload. No seat licensing. No mandatory renewal.
The Basic Fix — One-Time Core Optimization Payload — Single Scan
one-time · not per month
The basic fix — cheaper than the overpriced latte you'll forget you bought.
By paying you agree to the Terms of Service, Privacy Policy, and Refund Policy.
One-time payment · No auto-renew · 3 re-scans included · Works on any public URL
The Monitor
$49/mo
Fix it and watch monthly — your whole site audited and re-scanned every month, not just one page.
The Tracker
$99/mo
Watch weekly and stay ahead — weekly rank tracking, competitor change alerts, backlink monitoring.
Agency / White-Label
Custom
Bulk scans and unbranded, white-label reports built for client work.
What you get at each level
← Scroll to compare →
| The Roast $9 one-time | The Monitor $49/mo Coming soon | The Tracker $99/mo Coming soon | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Coverage | |||
| Account & dashboard | Not required | Required | Required |
| Pages covered | Single page | Whole site | Whole site |
| Every section scored separately — hero, pricing, CTA Section-by-section roast | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| How often it re-runs | Once + 3 re-scans | Monthly | Weekly |
| Competitors | |||
| Competitor tracking | 1 competitor, once | Top 3, with reasons | Top 3 + weekly change alerts |
| Keywords competitors rank for that you don't Keyword gap analysis | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Tracks who's linking to you — and who stopped Backlink monitoring | — | — | ✓ |
| Visibility | |||
| Keyword rank tracking | — | 5 keywords, monthly | 15 keywords, weekly |
| Whether you show up when people ask ChatGPT GEO tracking — AI/LLM visibility | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Pulls in your real Google traffic data Google Search Console integration | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Warns you when a page that used to rank starts slipping Content decay alerts | — | — | ✓ |
| Content | |||
| Content roadmap | 5 article titles | Full briefs + 90-day plan | Full briefs + 90-day plan |
| What your customers are actually saying online Reddit intelligence | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Staying on top of it | |||
| Catches it if you accidentally break your own page Change tracking on your own site | — | — | ✓ |
| Weekly email alerts | — | — | ✓ |
The $9 Roast is live today. The Monitor and The Tracker are coming soon.
No testimonials yet. On purpose. Zero fabricated social proof. Verify the output yourself.
We just launched. We could fake five-star reviews like everyone else does — but we built a tool that detects BS for a living. Launch week. No synthetic testimonials, no inflated counters. The scan output is the evidence.
Run the free scan. Let the product do the talking. When real founders say real things about it, they'll appear here — names, sites, receipts. Run the core scan against your own property. Score accuracy is verifiable in under 60 seconds, which beats any testimonial we could type ourselves.